


Baby Boo

by RaeTheStar



Series: Hermitcraft Oneshots [68]
Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: Bdubs turns into a baby!, Gen, another cute stereotypical plot haha, docs announcement sparked some baby fever, mostly Etho and Bdubs bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:01:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25960240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeTheStar/pseuds/RaeTheStar
Summary: Scar messed up some wizard magic, and now a certain hermit is a baby for the day!
Series: Hermitcraft Oneshots [68]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1485707
Comments: 12
Kudos: 116





	Baby Boo

Etho rubbed his temples and straightened his headband. Why did the hermits insist on starting nonsense so early in the morning? Scar had just sent a wild text to the group chat, and Etho wasn't ready to deal with it yet. He was currently flying to drop off some glass at Bdub's base, but he risked a glance at his phone.

**Scar** : I might have had a magic maflunction and idk what it did?

**Scar** : okay someone is aged down, but ikd how old they are 😬

**Xisuma** : Everyone respond so we can figure this out please?

Etho tucked his phone in his pocket with a huff, ignoring the slurry of pings he was getting. He was just going to drop off the glass at Bdubs'- and maybe Beef's while he was out- and then he was going back to bed.

He touched down in the village softly, hopeful to be in and out before Bdubs woke up with the sunrise. He set down his full shulker box and set to work, hopping from house to house filling chests as quickly as he could. However, his progress was halted as he approached the final house and heard someone crying inside. Like, _sobbing_.

Etho dropped everything and bolted inside. He hesitated only for a moment before pinpointing the sound in the upstairs bedroom, and pounded up the stairs two at a time. He would kill anyone who dared make his friend cry, how dare they hurt Bdubs-

And there was a child. The child stopped crying in shock as Etho stood in the doorway in horror. The child had dark skin and darker hair, with brown eyes shining full of large tears threatening to spill. He wore a small white shirt and a red bandanna tied around his arm. He must have been 8 or 10 years old, but then again Etho was never great with ages, so he could've been 2 for all he knew. It was obviously Bdubs; he was the one that had been hit with Scar's rouge magic.

**Etho** : Bdubs is a kid, he's in the village

**Xisuma** : I'll be there in a few minutes; thank you Etho!  
  


Etho turned his attention back to the small Bdubs, who was watching him with wide eyes. "So, do you talk?"

Bdubs hesitated, but nodded.

"Do you remember me? I don't know how this magic stuff works..."

Bdubs gave a toothy grin at that, revealing a chipped tooth. "Uncle Etho!"

Etho heaved a sigh of relief. "Okay, nice. Don't worry buddy, we'll have you fixed soon. Are you feeling alright?"

Bdubs frowned in deep thought. His profound child thoughts seemed to upset him again, and he sniffled as tears returned to his eyes. "Hungy..."

"Right, uh, no need to cry," Etho placated. "Let's go get you some food."

Etho did not consider himself a kid person. He hadn't dealt with many children in his life, and he just couldn't understand their broken English. Plus, they cried about everything, and he didn't know how to handle that. He was really thankful that Xisuma was on his way to fix this, but when Bdubs grabbed his finger to waddle down the stairs, Etho had to admit it was pretty cute.

Maybe cute, but also very strange, since he and Bdubs had been friends for nearly seven years at this point. "Okay kiddo, what are you hungry for?"

Bdubs spun in a slow circle in the kitchen, taking it all in, but eventually pouted, turning back to Etho. "I 'unno."

Etho sighed. "Come here." He carefully gathered Bdubs into his arms, resting him on his hip. "Now you can see on the counter better. See anything you want? There's some apples or bananas in the bowl, or I could make some toast- can you eat toast?"

"Nanas!!" Bdubs cheered, making grabby hands for the fruit.

Etho chuckled slightly. "Alright, nanas it is." He decided it would be best to not give Bdubs the peel (in case he tried to eat it?? Etho really wasn't sure). He set the child on the counter carefully, making sure he wasn't going to tip over easily. He knew it wasn't the safest place for a baby to sit, but it was always fun to sit on the counter when he was a kid, so maybe Bdubs would like it.

By the time Bdubs was situated sitting on the counter, fully engrossed with his banana, there was a soft knock at the door, and Xisuma let himself in. Bdubs looked on curiously at the newcomer, who Etho assumed must have looked crazy to a baby with all his armor on. Luckily he didn't cry again, although Etho noted with disgust he was drooling all over the banana. "Well hello little fella! You look exactly like Bdubs!" Xisuma giggled, offering a gloved finger for Bdubs to investigate. He abandoned his banana in favor of Xisuma, who seemed completely delighted to play with the child.

"So, I'm assuming you can undo Scar's magic?" Etho prompted.

"Right, right." Xisuma returned his attention to Etho, but left his finger for Bdubs to play with. "I can undo it, but he's younger than I expected. I should be able to fix it by this afternoon, and as much as I would love to take this cutie off your hands, I just can't do both. Can you watch him until I can change him back?"

Etho sighed. He figured this was how it was going to play out, but he still wasn't pleased. "You're sure no one else can watch him? Someone who likes kids a little more than me?"

"What? How can you not like his chubby little face? I just wanna squish it!" Xisuma giggled, squishing Bdubs' cheeks softly.

"Right..."

—

Etho was once again alone with little Bdubs, and quite lost at what to do now. He had work he needed to get done today, but Bdubs definitely needed supervision. The child had already attempted to fall off the counter twice, and could barely eat half his banana before getting distracted by Etho's silver hair. Eventually Etho decided he would be able to take Bdubs to work with him, as long as he traveled through the nether instead of flying, so the two set out, Bdubs snug in Etho's arms.

He was a squirmy thing, constantly whining and wiggling in Etho's grip, making him difficult to hold onto. By the time they reached Beef's portal, Bdubs was dangling over one shoulder and Etho was exhausted. He stumbled through the portal and was grateful to see Beef trimming his hedges across the lawn. "Beef!"

"Etho!" Beef greeted. "How- Is that Bdubs?" Beef was at his side instantly, eyes glued to the child slung over his shoulder.

"Yeah, wanna hold him?" Etho gratefully handed Bdubs to Beef, who accepted happily.

"Hi you cutie! How are you?" Beef cooed, poking Bdubs' cheek.

"Beef, Beef!" He cheered, giggling and grabbing Beef's beard with his banana-covered hands. Etho thought Beef would hate that, since he took great pride in his beard, but he just laughed, playing with Bdubs gently. "How long is he going to be like this?"

"All day basically; Xisuma said he didn't think he would be so young."

Beef frowned. "Only a day? But you're so cute! Right Bubbles? Yeah," Beef smiled warmly. Bdubs seemed content in his arms, running his little fingers through Beef's beard and resting his head on his shoulder. "Did you want me to watch him? I'd love to spend the day with little Bdubs!"

Etho wasn't sure what took hold of him, but he frowned. "No, I'm in charge of him. I was just dropping off some glass for you, so we should get going. C'mere Bdubs." As soon as Bdubs was back in Etho's arms he began sniffling and whining, grabbing at Beef sadly. "No Bdubs, no more uncle Beef. Say bye!"

Etho waved childishly at Beef, and Bdubs reluctantly copied him. They said their farewells, and then Etho returned to the nether. However, he barely made it to the Button before Bdubs' fussing and squirming became too much. He sat down with a huff, and Bdubs hopped to his feet, relieved for freedom. Etho simply watched as he began tottering around, investigating the machine and nearby clubhouses.

He definitely still had Bdubs' unwavering energy and attitude that could shift in an instant. Maybe Bdubs would be happier walking than being carried, but Etho couldn't bother waiting for his short legs to keep up- not that it was much different than normal. Etho made himself chuckle with that joke, but the smile was wiped from his face as he noticed Bdubs trying to climb the green team's tree, chasing after Cub. He scrambled to his feet, but Cub spotted his small stalker first. "Well hello there little man! What are you doing here?"

"Sorry Cub, he's with me. Bdubs, get over here!" When Bdubs spotted Etho coming towards him, he let out a cry and hid behind Cub, who had climbed out of the tree. "Oh come on."

"Bdubs? You mean, this is-?" Cub turned to the child hiding between his legs with a smile. "Well now I see it! Hello there!"

Bdubs waved bashfully, but kept a close eye as Etho crept closer. "It's okay Bubbles, papa Etho's here," Etho crooned in his best baby voice. Bdubs seemed intrigued by Etho's new sunny attitude, but refused to leave his shelter under Cub.

"He doesn't seem to like you very much," Cub pointed out with a chuckle. He crouched down, making sure he didn't startle the child. "Does papa Etho scare you?"

The tears returned to his eyes, and Bdubs' voice shook. "Etho mean."

"Hmm, well that's not good! If papa Etho said sorry, would it make you feel better?"

Bdubs considered Cub's offer, and nodded slowly. He turned to Etho, doubt written on his chubby face. Etho didn't realize kids could have so many angry emotions.

Etho sighed. "Okay, I'm sorry Bdubs. Will you come with me now?" He offered an outstretched hand, but Bdubs frowned and shook his head. "See Cub? I'm no good with kids."

Cub just chuckled. "What are you sorry for?"

"I don't know! He didn't like me from the second I showed up," Etho pouted, crossing his arms. This was ridiculous. He was having a fight with a baby.

"Bdubs, what did papa Etho do to hurt your feelings?" Cub asked softly.

Bdubs eyed him, but responded. "He carries me like a baby. I'm not baby," He huffed, folding his arms similarly to Etho.

Cub turned to Etho with a smile in his eyes. "Fine, I get it. Bdubs, I'm sorry I didn't let you walk when you wanted to walk. Next time use your words instead of squirming like a little worm, okay?"

Bdubs wasn't quite sure whether the worm part was an insult or not, but nodded regardless. "Kay."

"Well I'm glad we could work through this. I need to go, but get along you two. Use your words, both of you!" Cub laughed as he took off.

Now alone, the two turned to each other hesitantly. "Okay, I really am sorry. We're just going to that portal over there, would you like to walk?" Etho offered. Bdubs seemed content with that, and hopped to his feet. To Etho's surprise, Bdubs grabbed his hand as they started walking despite his attitude mere moments ago. It was a painfully slow walk, and Etho had to bend over to hold Bdubs' hand, but they made it to the portal regardless. Bdubs huddled closer to Etho as the particles began to swarm around them, but before they knew it, they were in the shopping district.

"Stay close, okay Boo? This is a big scary place and I don't want you getting lost. If you're good while papa Etho works, I'll buy you a diamond popsicle later!" Etho explained, retaining his hold on Bdubs' hand. He seemed upset by the restrictions, but relented, following Etho down the meandering roads. To Etho's surprise, they didn't run into any other hermits, and reached Etho's ice shop in peace. "Shoes off in the store!"

Bdubs screwed his face up at that. "No!"

"No? But it's polite, you have to take them off." Etho insisted, but the child had made up his mind. He frowned, large tears threatening to spill, and sat down in the doorway. Etho groaned, but Bdubs whined louder, now crying. "Fine! You can keep your shoes on, but you have to sit right here, okay? If I see you moved, no more popsicle!"

Bdubs just huffed, turning away from Etho. Etho sighed and took off his boots, stepping into the building. It was a simple restock, so it shouldn't take too long. He tossed his shulker boxes to the floor and began shoveling fresh ice into the chests. It couldn't have taken more than five minutes, but when he turned around and glanced out the door, Bdubs was nowhere in sight. "Ugh, I should've known..."

His search started fairly calm; the kid couldn't have waddled very far, so he just called his name as he wandered. This plan fell apart pretty quickly when Bdubs was nowhere to be found in any of the local shops. He began jogging, yelling a little louder, searching every corner, now sprinting, shouting for his child, offering any reward he could think of to make Bdubs come out of hiding. It was a full twenty minutes before Etho slowed down. He had circled the small island nearly six times, and his voice was hoarse. He tried to ignore the tears beginning to stream down his cheeks, but he couldn't help it; he was in charge of taking care of a literal child- who was also his best friend- and had failed. What if Bdubs had tried swimming and drowned? What if he fell in a hole and couldn't get out? What if he was scared and alone and Etho wasn't there for him?

A loud shouting behind him pulled him out of his misery. "I think I have someone that belongs to you!"

Etho's heart nearly leapt out of his chest. He sprinted up the steps of town hall and to his delight discovered Bdubs sitting happily in Joe's lap, gnawing away at a diamond popsicle. "Oh Joe, you lifesaver!"

"No worries. I saw him perusing the boulevards and figured his guardian was probably missing him." Joe smiled warmly.

"How can I ever thank you man?"

"No need, consider it a favor between friends for a common goal. Would you like him back now?" Joe offered with a knowing smile. "Or would you two like to spend the afternoon with uncle Joe?"

Etho almost collapsed in relief. "Yes please."

They spent the next few hours playing around the town hall, exploring the various rooms and playing hide and seek. Etho was grateful to soak up every last bit of advice Joe had to offer; the man knew how to handle children, and had an infinite supply of patience. Before long, Bdubs was exhausted, so he fell asleep sprawled across both their laps on the steps of the building, watching the sun set.

"Thank you for everything Joe. I'm just no good with kids, so I appreciate the help."

Joe laughed softly. "Don't cheat yourself; you were doing incredible long before I showed up. You just needed a reassuring hand to guide you in the right direction."

"If you say so..."

"Trust me, every father goes through it with their first child. You did way better than I did with my first."

Etho could only offer a wide smile, running his fingers through Bdubs' hair fondly. He certainly wouldn't ask to do this again, but he was grateful for some of the great pictures he would have to look back on, and should it ever happen again, he was equipped to raise another child.


End file.
